bereavement

bereavement & loss

In death, we rarely lose someone and simply learn to get used to life without them. It disrupts and changes the whole story of life – a rich family history, our view of ourselves, and our view of the one we’ve lost, can all start to look so different. As if, only by losing them, do we now begin to know them, ourselves, and life, in a new way.

Even at its ‘healthiest’ bereavement can take a huge emotional toll, and cast a profound shadow. It can be easy to feel that, after a certain amount of time, you should feel OK, be getting on with life again. But grief knows no so-called ‘healthy’ time limits. And finding yourself grieving deeply and for a long time may only be natural. Therapy can help you process all of the complex emotions you may be feeling – the happy memories and painful ones, and the anger, sorrow & regrets that death can bring. It can help you grieve for your loved one and the life you had with them, or the life that you didn’t. The things that were said, and those that were unsaid.

The effects of bereavement can become more complex too. You may feel stuck in the grieving process, unable to move on; or liberated, or that you haven’t begun to feel your emotions or grieve at all. People often feel very angry with themselves, and guilty too, even though rationally it may not make sense. All of the above can be signs of a deeper, unconscious conflict affecting you. Psychodynamic and existential therapies are well suited to processing all of these deep pains and complexities.